Thursday, October 1, 2015

Let's Be Real Here...

Whomever said, "enjoy these next four (ok, maybe five) years as much as you can", is probably the wisest person of the century. Life after college can be the most depressing, exciting, confusing chapter that will keep you on a whirl-wind.

You go those whole four years thinking that you can't wait to graduate and get a good job and make a difference. Wrong. Graduation day will be the best/worst day of your life. You will be so excited for the milestone you just accomplished (grads, pat yourself on the back!) and then you will immediately freak out because you think at that very moment that is when your life is suppose to start. It can be a cluster of emotion. Or at least that's how it was for me.

There are many things that I wish I could change about my college career. I feel like there should have been a class on how to get a grip that you WILL NOT have it all together the second you leave the FedEx Forum with that expensive piece of paper (they actually mail it) in your hands. I feel like everyone in college, or that is about to graduate, knows what I'm talking about. If you don't, I'll pray for you because you do not know what's coming. For those of us who had to bust our butts to get through those years know what I'm talking about. When you get that email every semester, "Sallie Mae is here to help you!", you get into a little bit of a panic. But I mean who doesn't rack up $38,365.76 in a matter of four (five) years, right??...

I am here to tell you that I am currently going through the depression side of "life after college". It's a real bitch. Yes, I took a victory lap and maybe it is my fault. But can you blame me? I just wasn't ready to face my fear of life ahead and potential failure. The depression really sets in when you start to evaluate your life decisions in the last 3 years, such as drinking to much, showing up to work hungover, ruining said job, and not remembering what the hell happened the night before, that's when the inner panic sets in. I'm all about going out and having a good time, that's probably my problem, and getting lost in the moment. However; it's all fun and games until you're sitting at dinner with friends, whom have been out of college for about two years, talking about their salaries, their new house, or engagement. Whilst quietly panicking at the table because, well fuck you don't have a 401k, salary, benefits, and can barely take care of yourself. Yes, I know some people are more fortunate than others and that this is just the beginning of my life and blah, blah, blah. Let's just say I'm having an almost quarter century crisis.

It may sound like I'm just complaining and bitching, but hey- I'm 24 with the realization that I should have done a few things differently. Don't get me wrong, my life right now is such an adventure that I think that's why I'm freaking out.

I had it all planned out in the beginning of my college career. The boyfriend, the dog, the somewhat good grades for the little effort I was putting in, and the idea of getting married right out of college. But then my junior year (second year junior), we both had the realization that we were right for each other and moved on. The last year has been amazing and I've learned so much about myself and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

So here goes my attempt into writing my babbling thoughts on the Internet, hoping that someone will agree with me or say "bless her". So cheers to being broke, young, and living with the rents!!